these on at any opportunity, often teaming them incongru- ously with a green linen suit or a floral summer frock.

The first occasion on which I came into the open remains one of the most exciting memories of my TV career. Out of the blue I said to my sister and mother I'd like to spend the evening dressed as a girl to see how I'd look. They were presumably surprised, but they humoured me. At that time I was fifteen and a half or so and slim, with better legs and ankles than I have now, and a smoother complexion. My sister let me wear her best evening gown (pale blue moire taffeta) over white satin lingerie, and the beloved silver sandals. With my face made up and my hair arranged I made a pretty if boyish young lady. I was trembling with excitement and hated it when I had to take off the things.

The next occasion was very similar to the first in my mode of gaining my desires...I simply asked and was allowed. On this occasion I wore a red 2-piece suit, rather sophis- ticated and on the cocktail side, and again the same sandals. This time I spent the evening dressed and the family accepted me for the evening as a girl. We played cards, I remember, but I don't think my mind was on the game. My father was surprised at the good looks I displayed, thanks to my sis- ter's grooming, and remarked that it showed how much of gla- mour was owed to cosmetics, I don't think he liked to that a

son of his might be pretty in his own right.

think

All this time I was dressing frequently in secret, and I definitely wished to be a girl. I would indulge in fan- tasies and day dreams in which I was abducted and forced to wear female clothing, or actually turned into a girl by some painless glamourising process. I should add here that I am now quite definitely cured of any wish to change sex, ex- cept as far as my wardrobe goes. I have too much fun as a man not to prefer to be both man and woman as I wish.

I have sometimes wondered if the secrecy of my cross- dressing was a genuine secret or merely a secret by agree- ment. Maybe my sister and/or mother guessed or knew far more than they said, but were tactful enough to turn a blind eye. I base these thoughts on two things...first, as I grew